The commissioners disagreed a lot this week, and we lost a consensus on who is number one at K.O.A.L.A Kickball. There are also a lot of new faces in the poll. This week, Lorenzo provides his in-depth commentary on each of the Top 10 teams at K.O.A.L.A. Kickball.
Before I begin with the rankings, I will commend Jason Oliver for the work he has done with his commentary. His quirkiness brought a smile to all of our faces. That being said, I am bringing my own style to this ranking. Every time I do these rankings I will try to compare the teams to different things – either TV shows, songs, pop culture celebrities, etc. This week I will compare our teams to one of my favorite sports: college football.
T-1) Pitch Please (2 out of 3 first place votes; previously 1st) – 28 points Ohio St: Given a favorable schedule by the adorable schedule master, Pitch Please has taken care of business in a tight fashion. Two 1-0 victories have made one of our commissioners dubious. Yes, like Ohio St. they are the defending champions, but they have not quite just met those lofty expectation in the fall season. (Angry emails and texts in 3…2…1…) Last game: W (Pitch Please 1, Team Jacked 0).
T-1) Prestige Worldwide (1 out of 3 first place votes; previously 2nd) – 28 points Clemson: With a run differential of plus 42, Prestige has not looked back after “Clemsoning” earlier in the season. They have mercy ruled their last two opponents and look like they are the cream of the crop this year even though the Nerf Ninjas still want to talk about that one day… Let’s see if they can follow through like Clemson has been doing so far into the playoffs. Last game: W (Prestige Worldwide 19 Sons of Pitches 2)
3) Pitches be Trippin (previously 3rd) – 25 points Michigan: If Pitches be Trippin can simply throw out one horrible inning, they would be unanimously on top of this poll. They have run through most of the competition to a run differential of plus 31! Unfortunately, just like Michigan…that one inning happened… Last game: W (Pitches be Trippin 6 Ball Liquors 5) W (Pitches be Trippin 13 Balls Deep 0)
4) Nerf Ninjas: (previously 5th)-20 points The entire Big XII: Oh, yes. The ragtag bunch group of Nerf Ninjas have improved throughout the season and added another victory to their total to sit solidly in 2nd place behind Prestige Worldwide at Tropical Park. They would like to remind you 100 times that they have beaten Prestige Worldwide earlier in the season. Sadly, just like any Big XII team, their pleas and politicking have only moved them up to fourth in the standings and feeling like outsiders. Last game: W (Nerf Ninjas 8 Wasted Potential 3)
5) We got the Juice: (previously 4th) – 19 points Florida: We Got the Juice took the Ball Liquors lightly and got burned as they failed to obtain a victory similar to how the college football team five hours north of us struggled to get rid of Vanderbilt last week. Due to a quirk in the schedule, they have not played anyone in the top 8 of the rankings, but that will change this week. Time for them to prove something to the rest of the league. Oh! Don’t forget: the Gator QB got suspended for juicing earlier this year. Last game: T (We got the Juice 2 Ball Liquors 2)
6) Hotline Swing: (previously 8th) – 15 points Iowa: Did you know Iowa was undefeated and in the top 5 of the polls this weekend? They have snuck up on me exactly how Hotline Swing has… Hotline Swing is on a winning streak and has climbed up to solidify at least third in the tropical park standings. They draw the Nerf Ninjas in a battle for the crucial 2nd spot in the standings and a first round bye. Last game: W (Hotline Swing 8 Thunder down Under 3)
7) 2 Legit to Quit: (previously 6th) – 10 points Florida State: After a great start to the season, the good times have ended after a heart breaking loss to Morning Kick last week and a tie to Pitch You Don’t Know Me this week, just like how Florida State received a gut check in Atlanta against Georgia Tech and has slid from that date on. Let’s see if they can stem the tide against the mighty Pitches Be Trippin. Last game: T (2 Legit to Quit 1 Pitch you don’t Know Me 1)
8) Blue Balls: (previously unranked) – 8 points Penn State: Welcome to the poll Blue Balls! Like Penn State, after a rough start against tough competition (in which they went scoreless), they have turned it around and are on a two game winning streak! This week they play We Got the Juice who will be trying to deflate the Blue Balls streak. Last game: W (Blue Balls 9 Morning Kick 5)
9) Morning Kick (previously 7th) – 6 points Miami: For the last 10 years it seems, every time I see a University of Miami score I go huh? After defeating 2 Legit to Quit last week, they have given up 23 runs in two games. Huh? Their play is unpredictable, and it looks like we should expect more of the same in the upcoming weeks. Last week: L (Blue Balls 9 Morning Kick 5)
T-10) Wasted Potential (previously 10th) – 1 point Georgia Tech/Duke: The commissioners could not decide who deserved the last spot so three teams are sitting here. Wasted Potential somehow has survived being in the poll another week even though they are tail spinning, having lost their third game in a row. Like Georgia Tech, they are holding their hat to a singular accomplishment and riding that through the season. Like Duke, they are getting some royally tough calls and have not recovered from those calls as they have let the tough luck snowball on them. Last week: L (Nerf Ninjas 8 Wasted Potential 3)
T-10) Pitch You Don’t Know Me (previously unranked) – 1 point Tennessee: At first it seemed like they would never win, as they were unable to score or finish a game. However, slowly they have turned things around. They found their winning ways last week against Morning Kick and played a great game against 2 Legit to Quit. They would make their orange friends from Tennessee proud. Welcome to the poll! Last week: T (Pitch you don’t know me 1 2 Legit to Quit 1)
T-10) Ball Liquors (previously unranked) – 1 point. NC State: I had a college professor who taught me a phrase. “Almost only counts in horseshoes and grenades”. They almost beat Pitches be Trippin and they almost beat We Got the Juice, but they didn’t. NC State loves that motto yearly, “We almost beat FSU and we almost beat Clemson!” Almost doesn’t count in college football or kickball, but one commissioner found them worthy of a vote. They have found their way into the poll for the first time. Welcome! Last week: L (Pitches be Trippin 6 Ball Liquors 5) T(We got the Juice 2 Ball Liquors 2)
Quick Reminder on How the Poll Works: Once both leagues have played at least 2 games each, the Commissioners each cast an anonymous ballot for the teams that they think are the top 10 in K.O.A.L.A. Kickball across our Miami Lakes and Tropical Park Leagues. The first ranked team in each ballot gets 10 points, the second ranked team in each ballot gets 9 points, and so forth all the way to the tenth ranked team in each ballot, which gets 1 point. The points that each team gets from each ballot are added up, and then the 10 teams with the highest total number of points are declared the Top 10 in the Commissioner’s Poll. Remember that this poll does not affect standings or playoff seeding in any way; it’s only for fun!